Avoid accusations. 1. Don't use your words as weapons. Fair Fighting: Ground rules. Your only job is to understand their point of view, even if you disagree. When parties accept positive common ground rules for managing a conflict, resolution becomes much more likely. Fair Fighting: Ground Rules for Negotiation 1. Fair fighting: ground rules Remain calm. To fight fairly, you just need to follow some basic guidelines to help keep your disagreements from becoming entrenched or destructive. 11 Fair Fighting Rules for Couples When both spouses are looking at things solely from their own point of view, it's easy for both of you to think you are being treated unfairly. By remaining calm it is more likely that others will consider your viewpoint. When an issue is escalating, try to keep your discussion streamlined. Don't generalize. Our 10 Ground Rules for Fighting Fair 1) Accept where you are. The 9 Fair Fighting Rules For Couples As Per Experts 1. One of the essential rules for fighting fairness in marriage is establishing and maintaining firm boundaries. If there are lingering issues that are bothering you, sort them out when the time is right. Fair fighting: ground rules Remain calm. The fighting part depends on the fairness being in place. Avoid name-calling while fighting fair to resolve conflict. Although difficult, it might . You need to be aware enough to say, "Hey listen, I need a 10-minute time out". What are the Conflict Resolving Skills as per Psychologists? Rule #5: Try to Understand. Discuss these ahead of time so that your rules can be clear and support the kind of partnership you want to achieve. Keep firm boundaries around your personal issues. forgetting that we're on the same team. Here are fifteen rules for fair fighting: 2,3,4. No "hitting below the belt." Attacking areas of personal sensitivity creates an atmosphere of distrust, anger, and vulnerability. However, starting with "I" does not give a license to ignore the other fair fighting rules. By remaining calm it will be more likely that others will consider your viewpoint. Avoid making corrections or thinking about what you want to say. Fair Fighting: Ground Rules _____ Remain calm. However, starting with "I" does not give a license to ignore the other fair fighting rules. In marriage and relationships, Fair Fighting Rule #1: No Degrading Language Avoid name-calling, insults, put-downs or swearing. Fair Fighting Rule #9: When Necessary, Use Time-Outs. Avoid making corrections or thinking about what you want to say. Avoid words like "never" or "always." Don't bring up past disagreements and use them as ammunition for the present one. Fair fighting rules allow people to proactively express their needs, manage strong emotions, and work collaboratively with the other person to problem solve and find solutions. Fair Fighting Ground Rules 1. Don't hold grudges. Fair Fighting: Ground Rules for Couples. Your partner will be more likely to consider and understand your viewpoint when you remain calm. Here are fifteen rules for fair fighting: 2,3,4 1. Maintaining emotions and tone are among fair fighting rules 6. Be Respectful 3. Nobody deserves to know your personal business. Fair Fighting: Ground rules Remain calm. Fair Fighting Rule #11 - Find the Common Ground Lastly, if none of the fair fighting rules works, try to find common ground with your partner. Fair fighting: ground rules Remain calm. Often they both have a hand in the reason for the fight . Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. Establishing ground rules in the beginning of your relationship is the best way to ensure that you will stick to them when conflicts do come up. Fair Fighting: Ground Rules for Couples. Do Not Criticize - No going below the belt. Give your full attention while your partner speaks. Know When To Make Up Final Thoughts on How To Fight Fair Summary What's Next? Try not to overreact to difficult situations. By following these fair fighting rules for couples, the relationship can continue to grow healthy. Don't Be Defensive 5. Rule #2. Stay Focused on the Issue at Hand. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. Monday, January 21st, 2019 Establishing ground rules in the beginning of your relationship is the best way to ensure that you will stick to them when conflicts do come up. Listen actively. When parties accept positive common ground rules for managing a conflict, resolution becomes much more likely. Basic Guidelines for Fair Fighting 1. Express feelings in words, not actions. If you start to feel so angry or upset that you f eel you may The rules prevent interactions from being unhelpful, destructive or violent, and allow people within relationships to break cycles of damaging and unresolved arguments. Violating these fair fighting rules is typically a sign that you have already crossed a threshold physiologically, in which signals from the more primitive, emotional centers of your brain have begun to drown out the signals from the more rational parts of your brain. Remain calm. 6. Don't drag children into the mess if you want to fight fair 7. Remain calm. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. Monday, January 21st, 2019 Establishing ground rules in the beginning of your relationship is the best way to ensure that you will stick to them when conflicts do come up. Fair fighting: ground rules Remain calm. Establish common ground rules. Every marriage has issues that need to be worked on! Read More on this Topic: 7 Keys To A Fair Fight You may even want to ask your partner-in-conflict to read and discuss the information in this handout with you. Rule #3. not staying on the topic. This is the Fair Fighting Rules worksheet. Give your full attention while your partner speaks. It's OK that things aren't perfect. Instead of telling us we can't argue, fair fighting rules tell us how to do it safely and productively. By remaining calm it is more likely that others will consider your viewpoint. Posted on May 6, 2021 January 20, 2022 Leave a comment. About This Worksheet. This may be difficult when you think another's point of view is irrational or just plain unfair. Express feelings in words, not actions. 2. Fair Fighting: Ground Rules for Couples. The Fair Fighting Rules handout describes the "rules of engagement" when it comes to disagreements. Take turns speaking. 3. In sports there are many rules that prevent one player from intentionally injuring another. Express feelings in words, not actions. When you are arguing with your spouse, don't hold onto past mistakes or issues and dig them out just to win the fight. Stick To Your Point 2. Doing so minimizes the likelihood that you will bring non-related issues into the conversation, which can only lead to further distress and irritation. Establish common ground rules. Rule #8: Fighting is an Intimate Process. No personal attacks or Dirty Tactics (Duh) 5. 2. And if your partner is not their best self, use another 4 letter word instead… ouch! Do Not Bring Up the Past - Implement 48-hour Clout. Try not to overreact to a difficult situation. Express feelings in words, not actions. Use this handout to teach couples boundaries, warning signs, and techniques for handling disagreements. This requires the understanding of some ground rules in order to manage the disagreements successfully. This one is as much for my benefit as it is for theirs. Stay in the present. Conflicts occur when people (or other parties) perceive that, as a consequence of a disagreement, there is a threat to their needs, interests or concerns. In sport, a "fair fight" means that the odds are not artificially biased before the contest begins. If you work together to keep these 5 ground rules for fighting fair in place. By following these fair fighting rules for couples, the relationship can continue to grow healthy. 1. 2. Your only job is to understand their point of view, even if you disagree. Maintain Control. This worksheet helps to prevent issues and disagreements from escalating into unhealthy behaviors and habits. A fight to the life. Express feelings in words, not actions. 7 Keys To A Fair Fight 1. On the other hand, don't wear your belt too high - don't be overly sensitive. believing that the situation is hopeless. Avoid making corrections or thinking about what you want to say. Not every time you will have the same opinions, and that is acceptable. Vague complaints are hard to work on. 1. Take turns speaking. Don't come running to mama (or dad either). Fighting Fair: Ground Rules • Remain calm. If you start to feel so angry or upset that you f eel you may Don't inflict pain to make your point. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. Intimacy means you know their weaknesses and enduring vulnerabilities. Rule 1: Maintain control. Maintaining emotions and tone are among fair fighting rules. 4. Discuss these ahead of time so that your rules can be clear and support the kind of partnership you want to achieve. Here are five rules to tame sibling fighting: 1. The important aspect here is understanding the point of view of your partner and acknowledging it. But remember, he or she may think the same thing about your ideas. You may even want to ask your partner-in-conflict to read and discuss the information in this handout with you. Disagree over their values, motivations . Try not to overreact to difficult situations. Fair fighting is the process of resolving conflicts and managing feelings along with it. These emotions are normal and should not become a problem as long as both partners communicate with respect. emotions. Identify and describe the problem in writing. Remain calm. By remaining calm it will be more likely that others will consider your viewpoint. The Fair Fighting Rules handout describes the "rules of engagement" when it comes to disagreements. Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication. 3. Rule #1. This often means that the conflict will end with one of you feeling like you have "lost", leading to resentment. Be specific about what is bothering you. In short, the 'Fair Fighting Rules' describe the "rules of engagement" when it comes to disagreements. Rule #4. Fair Fighting: Ground Rules Remain calm. Instead, talk about how someone's actions made you feel. Doing so minimizes the likelihood that you will bring non-related issues into the conversation, which can only lead to further distress and irritation. Both must agree and be ready to talk. 9. Express feelings in words, not actions. By remaining calm it will be more likely that others will consider your viewpoint. Stop hurting the one you love. Never Interrupt - Implement 2 Minute Clout. If you find it difficult to not interrupt, try setting a timer allowing 1-2 minutes for each person to speak without interruption. Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication. This worksheet outlines a list of rules to abide when arguing with a partner or loved one. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. If you work together to keep these 5 ground rules for fighting fair in place. Respect and courtesy are essential rules for fighting fair in marriage. Discuss these ahead of time so that your rules can be clear and support the kind of partnership you want to achieve. Vague complaints are hard to work on. Never let an argument or disagreement deteriorate to the point of physical violence. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. When you are arguing with your spouse, don't hold onto past mistakes or issues and dig them out just to win the fight. Be specific about what is bothering you. • Express feelings in words, not actions. Fair Fighting: Ground Rules for Negotiation 1. 8. Fair fighting rules allow people to proactively express their needs, manage strong emotions, and work collaboratively with the other person to problem solve and find solutions. Know When To Back Down 7. down or criticizing your partner's character shows disrespect for his or her dignity. The rules prevent interactions from being unhelpful, destructive or violent, and allow people within relationships to break cycles of damaging and unresolved arguments. By remaining calm it is more likely that others will consider your viewpoint. Use this handout to teach couples boundaries, warning signs, and techniques for handling disagreements. Don't hit below the belt. Your only job is to understand their point of view, even if you disagree. Getting involved in my girls' disputes is stressful, and now their disagreements are more nuanced than they were when they were little. Instead of telling us we can't argue, fair fighting rules tell us how to do it safely and productively. We suggest accompanying this handout . Leave friends and Family Out of It. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. Accusations will cause others to defend themselves. 7. If you find it difficult to Remain calm. Your relationship with your spouse is sacred. Express feelings in words, not actions. Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication. By remaining calm it will be more likely that others will consider your viewpoint. Believe this truth: "We're starting here and with grace, a listening heart (and God's help) we can make things better." (You can't force someone to talk just because you want to.) Don't Personalize The Argument 6. Accept the current state of your emotions and those of your spouse. Don't try to talk or problem solve when you're angry. Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication. If you start to feel so angry or upset . Tag: Fair fighting: Ground rules. Deal with only one issue at a time. If there are lingering issues that are bothering you, sort them out when the time is right. Give your full attention while your partner speaks. Basic Guidelines for Fair Fighting Stick to the issue at hand if you want to resolve conflict. expecting the other person to change first. Avoid name-calling while fighting fair to resolve conflict 8. thinking that the other person is fully to blame for the issue. Express feelings in words, not actions. As a result, each part of an argument learns how to argue without doing damage . attacking the other person without fair warning. Maintaining control during an argument is crucial to fighting fair, you need to learn to recognize when you're about to lose it. not praying before, during and/or after the conversation. Don't drag children into the mess if you want to fight fair. Express feelings in words, not actions. Don't hold grudges. Stay Focused on the Issue at Hand When an issue is escalating, try to keep your discussion streamlined. Don't Say Things You Will Regret Later 4. Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication. Stick to the issue at hand if you want to resolve conflict 9.